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Seven Critical Questions for Teens: Question #1

April 11, 2012

Jeffrey Leiken, MA  ( has done some great work on teenagers and he posits 7 Critical Questions that Teen Need to Answer.  In the next seven blog posts, I will explore these  questions and talk about our role as fathers to influence the answers to these critical questions.  So, here we go:

Question #1:  Who will your friends be?

For many kids the answer to the above question is simple, whoever is fun and/or popular.  Kids are dying to be part of the “in group”.  Many kids are willing to put up with abuse or other forms of poor treatment, in order to hang around the most popular kids. This just in:  the most popular kids are not always the nicest kids.  Sometimes the popular kids are great, but often times they can be mean spirited or arrogant towards other kids.

The real important question we can help our kids ask is this:  Who brings out the best in you?  Those are the kids that should be on the best friend list.  

Bringing out the best includes:  making you laugh, making you feel important, listening to you, “getting” your quirks and accepting you for who you are.

Fathers, first of all, know who your teen’s friends.   Secondly encourage them to pick friends that build them up.  It will make all the difference.

Patrick Donohue is a Life Coach in Oak Park, IL.  Contact him at

2 Comments leave one →
  1. April 11, 2012 10:33 pm

    That’s awesome advice, great stuff!

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