7 Deadly Sins of a Disappointed Father: #1 Negative Body Language
I have been a lot about the term “disappointed father” and its effects on our children. All of us can be disappointed fathers from time to time and the effects can be quite devastating for our kids. For the next seven posts, I will break down 7 different things we do as fathers to convey disappointment to our kids.
#1 Negative Body Language
When my kids were in elementary school, they used to say to me, “Daddy, you have to work on not giving such mean looks.” Now I am thinking, “Hey kids, daddy got a lot more than mean looks when he was growing up!!! Be thankful that is all I am doing.” However, slowly over time I came to understand how my subtle scowling was putting up a wall between myself and my kids. Frankly, I did not even realize I was doing it until it was pointed out to me. When I became aware of it, it became much easier for me to modify my behavior.
Here are some of the most common negative body language moves that we do as fathers:
*Pursing our lips (impatience, frustration), lip curling up (contempt), furrowed brow (exasperation, frustration) scowl (anger)
*Arm crossed (not open to input)
*Slumped shoulders (disappointed)
*Feet pointed away from our children (disinterest)
*Fingers or ankles interlocked (anxiety)
*Jaw tightening ( tension)
*Pointing hands or fingers (dominance)
If you want to read a fascinating book on body language, I would highly recommend What Every Body is Saying by Joe Navarro. Navarro is a retired FBI agent who is an expert on nonverbal communication. I learned a ton reading this quick little book that will definitely help me as a father.
So, what is your is negative body language trap? I’d love to hear your comments.
Patrick Donohue is a Life Coach. Contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org